BMW 840i Gran Coupe: A Year with the Beast

SSBMW14 · 03-24-2024, 12:14 PM

Ok, I have to admit I cheated. The title of this post was generated by ChatGPT, aka Jeremy Clarkson in disguise.

It has been a while since I last posted, and what follows here is my very brief take on my car. I have owned the car for a year, and whilst I have a soft spot for my first car (a 323i), this is the best car I have driven. It is ultra smooth, and it moves with a grace and agility that belies its size (and this is without four-wheel steering). After a few thousand miles, the engine has opened and sweetened. The driving dynamics are balanced beautifully between sporty responsiveness and GT comfort. Yes, I know you V8 owners will disagree, but for UK roads, this has more than enough power, and as many others have previously said, I feel it is more than what is quoted by BMW.

My choice of San Remo green with the cognac interior has proven to be the right one for me - it is a constant source of pride, offering a deep, rich tone that stands out in a sea of more conventional colours, although I have seen more of this green now on the roads. However, people still comment positively on the colour, which is nice!

Been very happy with the technology included in the car. The B&W sound system is excellent and much richer now that it is broken in. Are there things missing? While the seats are cushioning and comfortable, massage seats would have been a nice add-on, but apart from that, this car has everything I need for now.

As a first-year birthday present, I decided to treat the car to full detailing, including multi-stage decontamination, two-stage machine polish, and a set of GTechniq protection across the paint, wheels, interior and glass.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C40X6...x2dWFubXZxMg==

Now, let's jazz this up a notch. Over to you, ChatGPT, and make it snappy and sparkle with fun, JC style

After a whirlwind year with what can only be described as the mechanical embodiment of Beethoven's Fifth, I've come to a startling revelation: my BMW, a chariot so smooth it makes silk look like sandpaper, is the best thing I've driven. Forget my old 323i love affair; this is automotive bliss. Despite its girth, it dances with the nimbleness of a ballerina, sans the four-wheel steering wizardry. Miles have seasoned its engine to a state where it purrs a tune sweeter than a symphony's crescendo.

San Remo green draped over a cognac interior? Jackpot. It turns more heads than a Wimbledon final, even though it's becoming less of a unicorn on the streets. Still, it garners adoration, and rightly so.

And the power? Oh, the power. To the V8 aficionados scoffing over their steering wheels, on the twisty, turny theatre that is UK tarmac, this beast has more grunt than it knows what to do with—BMW's understated, much like my ability to resist a second dessert.

The tech's as cutting-edge as a samurai sword, with a Bowers & Wilkins system that's like Mozart in your earholes. Massage seats would've been the cherry on top, but frankly, who needs a rub when the ride's this good?

For its first birthday, I splurged on the automotive equivalent of a spa day: full detailing, a cocktail of GTechniq wizardry on every conceivable surface, making it shinier than a diamond in a goat's rear. It's not just a car; it's a statement, and I dare say, it's bloody brilliant

Enough said. Thanks for reading folks.

snowbimmer · 03-24-2024, 03:16 PM

Bloody brilliant review.........the ChatGPT version, that is🤣

Beauty of a car, by the way.

MagnificoRoad · 03-24-2024, 07:58 PM

Lmao. Thanks for that, today I needed the laughs.

I couldn’t find a cpo M850 in San Remo but I have zero regrets now with my 840i. In particular was concerned I’d find the elec power steering over-assisted but it’s tighter than I expected, especially in Sport and acceleration with the B58 is so smooth and forthright it’s ridiculous.

San Remo does turn heads... it was the closest I could get to BRG without forking over the extra few grand plus buying new. But now I actually prefer SRG to BMW’s version of BRG! it’s a dynamic color.
Enjoy

Seaford · 03-25-2024, 05:24 AM

Yup, I agree, the 840i GC is a fantastic all rounder in the real world. Mine in Dravit Grey with Ivory White interior turns heads as well as having a great deal of pace and sensible economy.

Only criticisms I have is that the boot seems a bit small compared to the size of the car (actually smaller than an 3 Series saloon in volume but a more usable shape) and a heated windscreen would be nice and not unreasonable at this price point.

03-24-2024, 12:14 PM	#1
SSBMW14 Second Lieutenant 369 Rep 228 Posts Drives: Drives 2023 G16 840i Join Date: Apr 2019 Location: London, UK iTrader: (0) Garage List 2023 BMW 840i [10.00]	BMW 840i Gran Coupe: A Year with the Beast - Power, Grace, and a Bit of Magic Ok, I have to admit I cheated. The title of this post was generated by ChatGPT, aka Jeremy Clarkson in disguise. It has been a while since I last posted, and what follows here is my very brief take on my car. I have owned the car for a year, and whilst I have a soft spot for my first car (a 323i), this is the best car I have driven. It is ultra smooth, and it moves with a grace and agility that belies its size (and this is without four-wheel steering). After a few thousand miles, the engine has opened and sweetened. The driving dynamics are balanced beautifully between sporty responsiveness and GT comfort. Yes, I know you V8 owners will disagree, but for UK roads, this has more than enough power, and as many others have previously said, I feel it is more than what is quoted by BMW. My choice of San Remo green with the cognac interior has proven to be the right one for me - it is a constant source of pride, offering a deep, rich tone that stands out in a sea of more conventional colours, although I have seen more of this green now on the roads. However, people still comment positively on the colour, which is nice! Been very happy with the technology included in the car. The B&W sound system is excellent and much richer now that it is broken in. Are there things missing? While the seats are cushioning and comfortable, massage seats would have been a nice add-on, but apart from that, this car has everything I need for now. As a first-year birthday present, I decided to treat the car to full detailing, including multi-stage decontamination, two-stage machine polish, and a set of GTechniq protection across the paint, wheels, interior and glass. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C40X6...x2dWFubXZxMg== Now, let's jazz this up a notch. Over to you, ChatGPT, and make it snappy and sparkle with fun, JC style After a whirlwind year with what can only be described as the mechanical embodiment of Beethoven's Fifth, I've come to a startling revelation: my BMW, a chariot so smooth it makes silk look like sandpaper, is the best thing I've driven. Forget my old 323i love affair; this is automotive bliss. Despite its girth, it dances with the nimbleness of a ballerina, sans the four-wheel steering wizardry. Miles have seasoned its engine to a state where it purrs a tune sweeter than a symphony's crescendo. San Remo green draped over a cognac interior? Jackpot. It turns more heads than a Wimbledon final, even though it's becoming less of a unicorn on the streets. Still, it garners adoration, and rightly so. And the power? Oh, the power. To the V8 aficionados scoffing over their steering wheels, on the twisty, turny theatre that is UK tarmac, this beast has more grunt than it knows what to do with—BMW's understated, much like my ability to resist a second dessert. The tech's as cutting-edge as a samurai sword, with a Bowers & Wilkins system that's like Mozart in your earholes. Massage seats would've been the cherry on top, but frankly, who needs a rub when the ride's this good? For its first birthday, I splurged on the automotive equivalent of a spa day: full detailing, a cocktail of GTechniq wizardry on every conceivable surface, making it shinier than a diamond in a goat's rear. It's not just a car; it's a statement, and I dare say, it's bloody brilliant Enough said. Thanks for reading folks. Attached Images __________________ Previously owned BMWs 1999 E46 323i SE, 2002 E46 LCI 330d SE, 2006 E83 X3 3.0d SE, 2007 E87 118i, 2010 E84 X1 18d, 2015 F10 535d M Sport, 2019 G02 X4 M40d
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03-24-2024, 03:16 PM	#2
snowbimmer Lieutenant Colonel 5211 Rep 1,796 Posts Drives: 2022 M850 GC - Carbon Black Join Date: Feb 2017 Location: PDX iTrader: (0) Garage List 2022 M850 GC [10.00]	Bloody brilliant review.........the ChatGPT version, that is🤣 Beauty of a car, by the way.
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03-24-2024, 07:58 PM	#3
MagnificoRoad Private 231 Rep 54 Posts Drives: '23 840iGC Join Date: Dec 2023 Location: . iTrader: (0)	Lmao. Thanks for that, today I needed the laughs. I couldn’t find a cpo M850 in San Remo but I have zero regrets now with my 840i. In particular was concerned I’d find the elec power steering over-assisted but it’s tighter than I expected, especially in Sport and acceleration with the B58 is so smooth and forthright it’s ridiculous. San Remo does turn heads... it was the closest I could get to BRG without forking over the extra few grand plus buying new. But now I actually prefer SRG to BMW’s version of BRG! it’s a dynamic color. Enjoy Attached Images __________________ Einstein said "You cannot love a car the way you love a horse." I have both. Einstein could learn a thing or two. Last edited by MagnificoRoad; 03-25-2024 at 04:55 AM..
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03-25-2024, 05:24 AM	#4
Seaford Lieutenant Colonel 1148 Rep 1,687 Posts Drives: 840 M Sport Gran Coupe Join Date: Feb 2016 Location: Seaford, England iTrader: (0)	Yup, I agree, the 840i GC is a fantastic all rounder in the real world. Mine in Dravit Grey with Ivory White interior turns heads as well as having a great deal of pace and sensible economy. Only criticisms I have is that the boot seems a bit small compared to the size of the car (actually smaller than an 3 Series saloon in volume but a more usable shape) and a heated windscreen would be nice and not unreasonable at this price point.
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