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      07-19-2019, 11:00 PM   #1
Ozzie8
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Genius Visit

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Down in the basement of the brand new BMW Sydney HQ building sits the "Genius". So smart is the "Genius" that his name is not disclosed for fear that he may be head hunted by another prestige car provider who might double his salary. But for the purposes of this post lets call him "Brendan".

The first challenge of the Genius visit was a surprising one. I'm greeted at the front entrance and directed to the Concierge. There are oodles of free parking bays but he directs me to park my brand new majestic 8 with only 300km on the clock next to a beat up metallic green 3 Series. My heart rate increases as the door ding anticipation meter starts to go off. If I park my 8 in this bay will the owner of that 3 series emerge and do the business. I request another bay. The concierge calmly soothes my anxiety and assures me there will no movement of the 3 series and he will personally supervise my 8. I oblige, park my beauty and enter reception to wait for Brendan.

Seemingly from nowhere, Brendan the Genius appears and we head back to the car park. Immediately the blood drains from my body. The mint green 3 series is gone AND reversing into the bay is an X5. The driver of the X5 has clearly not done any lessons with the Genius or anyone else for that matter. Sensing my anxiety, Brendan suggests we get into my beauty and move to the next parking level which is much quieter. I like Brendan already.

With the first challenge averted, my Genius lesson commences. Now I have to say readers that I've only just move from the 2013 640d GC to my beauty and technologically speaking that's a decade. So some of the items below may not be met with the same sense of excitement as yours truly. However I am guilty of never using all of the functions as I often don't understand them, so maybe there might be some new items for you too.

Firstly Brendan connects me to Apple CarPlay and after exploring this and having my questions answered, I decide not to use CarPlay. Partially I didn't like it, but mostly I'm too used to iDrive and actually prefer the iDrive interface.

We then explore the camera capabilities of the car. Press the camera button and you're able to get a whole lot of cool views of the car. By touching any of the camera icons on the screen you get an excellent views of the LH side, or RH side, front, rear and of course 360. Very very handy. Also there is an option to activate the front cameras once you get to a certain geographic location, so if you exit a steep driveway every morning and cross a footpath for example, the cameras will activate automatically.

Then reversing and parking. The 8 can trace your last 50 meters forward and reverse back precisely. Under Brendan's guidance we do a tricky forward manoeuvre out of the bay, around a pylon and down a ramp. Press parking button and select reverse option and then you just need to control speed, car does all the steering (don't touch the steering wheel as it will halt the operation). Easy.

Then onto auto parking. Brendan offers to do this in another vehicle if I would prefer as anxiety can sometimes lead to unintended consequences. I ask if he is referring to the mint green 3 series, he smiles and I advise that of course I want to use my car. For all the first timers out there, I would describe the auto parking process as follows:
- approach: if you can see a free bay to the RH side then move the car over to the right and approach the bay (needs white lines)
- engage: before you get to the start of the bay, put on RH indicator and press the parking button
- scan: now slowly drive past the bay so the car can do a full scan of the bay, stopping when the auto parking indicator changes on screen
- activate: car will now reverse
- control: control the speed and watch the screen, in my case a pylon meant I needed to reverse, go forward and then reverse again, this was all automatic
- stop: the car will automatically stop, perfectly in the bay.

The parking menu also includes a car wash option, so the car aligns your front wheels to the car wash tracks. This of course is completely redundant as no sane person would put their 8 through a car wash. It might be useful however for loading the 8 into a train or ferry carriage for an ocean crossing as normally they have a set of tracks.

One basic feature I was not aware of. If you are reversing the car and you have the button to adjust the wing mirrors set to the to drivers side position, then the passenger side wing mirror will tilt downwards. If you have the button set to the passengers side, then the mirror will remain in normal driving position. Handy one Brendan.

From there we setup the the voice assistant which was very easy then Brendan asked me to talk my beauty and say "Hello BMW revitalize me". Seat cooling ventilation comes on as well as a increased air flow and reduced temperature in the cabin. And it's rather nice and I can just imagine using this on a long road trip in mid summer. Then I'm asked to say "Hello BMW relax me", and it becomes warm and snug inside and mood music emerges from the B+W sound system. This could prove to be very useful indeed!

Brendan then moved to a very scientific explanation of the auto functions of the car. Auto climate control, does not as I had assumed, just keep the temperature the same, it intelligently decides where to direct air in the car based on external and internal conditions. You see it's been developed by German engineers. Following this genius advice I left my beauty in auto and the day after with the sun beating down on the drivers side of the car and I did indeed feel a gush of cooler air kick in. The German engineers have also done the same with the lights. Leave them in Auto and they are precisely able to illuminate the road and objects ahead, adjusting to the driving circumstances. I will take special note on my next long night drive.

Then onto the 8 programmable buttons. I had these in my 6 but never used them. Could never set them or think how to use them.
Brendan asked me some Genius questions and then we set up most of them:
1 - Search mode for music library
2 - News Radio
3 - Sports Radio
4 - spare
5 - spare
6 - Phone text messages
7 - Call my wife
8 - Phone contacts

Finally we explored the B+W sound system. Brendan just got me fiddling around with things and experimenting, but in a particular order. Go to the equalizer and go from left to right adjusting each setting individually. Then go to sound mode and select one, such as "concert". Then go to the surround sound setting and adjust. Finally (top secret) move the fade one notch towards the rear. I've written a post on the settings we ended up with, minus the fade adjustment.

My genius session finally came to and end and after saying farewell to Brendan I simply said "Hello BMW take me home" and like magic it activated my navigation path home. As I made my exit from BMW Sydney I did have a delay at the lights but eventually got a green to head towards the cross city tunnel. I could see the cause, a vehicle incident ahead, and as I put my foot down to wiz past I could see out of the corner of my eye a mint green BMW 3 series
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      07-20-2019, 11:18 AM   #2
Wing Co
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Great read - love the anxiety, I have it all the while...!!! I did not know about the car wash option (I'll try and find it) and as I periodically get the Eurotunnel I normally go to the extra wide, but once they shoved me in my X6 into the normal and boy did I sweat and smacked one of my wheels which they paid to repair as I'd booked wide.

Last edited by Wing Co; 07-20-2019 at 11:28 AM..
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      07-21-2019, 04:03 AM   #3
Ozzie8
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Very good they would do that. Common sense and fair play is alive at the Eurotunnel.
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      07-24-2019, 10:01 AM   #4
usmabmass
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Just a friendly note, in my cars I always have one of the programmable buttons set to "navigate home" - I travel a lot and it's always nice to just hit one button and have it direct you straight home from anywhere.
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