[Resjudicata]

Originally Posted by redhot47fla

The moment I dreaded arrived this morning. I brought the M850ix 'vert in for its first service and the rear-camera software recall and, as I had guessed, a more extensive software update that I couldn't avoid.

This placed me at the mercy of the service department, BMW Assist (which is not assistive) and the BMW Genuises (who are not geniuses).

Here is the sad tale. I am not making up any of it. Be sure to read or at least scan to the end.

The curtain goes up:

- The service call was completed in about two hours. I'm now carrying software package 03/2020.30.

- I see some subtle changes, including the instrument screen's font, which is a bit smaller and bolder. Nothing to write home about. (I'm not sure about this, but the accelerator/engine response seems a bit different - feels like I need a little more pressure on the accelerator than previously.)

- Placed on alert by things I read here, I begged the service manager to preserve my settings. He tried. He almost succeeded. Most settings were maintained or restored. Oddly, only the most important ones to me - the driver's seat settings - were blown out. The passenger seat - settings still there. My carefully calibrated driver's seat settings - poof. How can that be? Thanks, BMW.

- All coding also is blown out. Pretty much expected that.

- Wi-Fi and Connected Drive phone app functionality, still there. At least for now. (Keep reading).

- Alas, all those embedded apps - Weather, Traffic, News, whatever. Not so much embedded any more. All gone. They were there when I drove in; gone with the software update. Only two dominoes are there now: BMW Assist and another generic app.

- Along with many of us, I have some hard-earned experience with this problem, which took me weeks to sort out last May when the car was new. I tried the Option hard-button reset. No joy. I tried the volume-button-30-second reset. No joy. I tried both of those repeatedly. No joy. No joy. No joy.

- Called BMW Assist. Nice young lady in Fort Lauderdale. Made me try the two resets all over again. Got off the line. Came back on the line. Ordered me to delete the ConnectedDrive app from my phone and restore it. I was scared to death, because that app actually works for me. Did it anyway. Oops. Wouldn't accept my VIN. Dead app. I got a little...upset. She put me on hold. Connected me to a BMW Genius.

- Genius picks up the call. Breaks the connection. Phone call is dead.

- I call BMW Assist again. As I do - voila! - somehow the car pops back up in my Connected Drive phone app. We do it all again. Reset. Reset. No joy. No joy. She ends up switching me to a Genius, who actually stays on the line this time.

- Genius makes me do the two resets again. No joy. No joy. Says a ticket will have to be written up. But he can't do that. That's the job of BMW Assist. But...BMW Assist had hung up on him, even though he asked her to stay on the line.

- Genius connects me to a different BMW Assist agent. I ask him to explain to her what we've been through. He doesn't. I have to do it all over again. She asks me to do the resets. I refuse.

- She puts me on hold. Says she'll have to write up a ticket. Puts me on hold again.

- Says that my ConnectedDrive account is not linked to my car. I tell her it most definitely is - I'm looking at it right now on my phone. She says, no, it's not. (In retrospect, this is a big clue that I have missed). Asks for my email address, types it into...something. Puts me on hold.

- She comes back on the line. Says she has written up the ticket. Give it seven to 10 days. I make believe that I believe that someone will actually act on the ticket. I ask her for the ticket number (again, I've been through this before). I get the ticket number.

- We bid each other farewell.

- At that moment, a BMW email arrives confirming that a ticket has been sent to someone somewhere and everything will be just peachy.

- I look carefully at the email. The ticket was written for the VIN of a car I haven't owned since last May.

I have no real hope that the apps ever will re-appear. So long as Assisters and Geniuses don't mess up my Connected Drive phone app functionality and in-car Wi-Fi, I don't think I care anymore.

And...curtain.

Could have been a lot worst. I lost all my settings and codings. And it took 8 hours without a loaner.

At least you're able to use most everything except the in car apps.